This aint a love song, it's a sad song, as BBC1 air the most boring episode of Young Apprentice to date. Alice Smith became the fourth candidate to get the non-pork chop in scenes that gave a new meaning to "walk of shame."
It's @HarryMaxwell here from the last series to give you my top omg! moments and verdict exclusively.
If I say so myself, my sense of humour is excellent. I once put a tea towel on my head and laughed for a solid 10 minutes. So I am hence VERY QUALIFIED when it comes to commenting on jokes.
I am struggling to pick my top omg! moments because it was all so terrible. We have a batch of lacklustre candidates, zero jokes, zero banter and zero crying. WHAT IS THIS?
None of the candidates have produced something that makes you shout "omg! that was amazing!" None of them have sold 6 flower stems for £150 or 4 birdhouses for £500, and I didn't even win! (You can remind yourself on YouTube)
So to recap the episode.. Here are some semi-omg! moments:
1: Navdeep Bual is useless
On a task to create a themed afternoon tea and sell to customers, Team Odyssey, led by Alice Smith went with a 1940s theme.
Navdeep, or "Nav" as her friends call her (still think that's a ridiculous nickname), boldly declared "I think red is errrr quite British" - OVERFLOWING WITH CREATIVITY THAT GIRL. Poor old Nav continued in the background, didn't sell much, didn't make decent TV, please Lord Sugar, put this girl out of her misery?
2: David Odihambo is even worseHeading up the other team, Team Platinum, was David Odihambo with a Mad Hatters theme. Watching David was a lesson in how to lose a task. Luckily for him, Ashleigh Porter-Day kept him in check and he ended up winning.
Ashleigh did a great job watching the costs, quite staggering Team Platinum won considering they were selling at £6 as opposed to the other team's £15! But anyway, back to slating David, he failed to make decisions which wound his team right up.
3: Alice Smith is mental
David's team winning, meant Alice Smith was losing project manager. She spent her entire time on the task shouting, nearly wagged her finger at one point, so it was no surprise to see her fired.
On an unrelated note, she has a very pointy nose and was wearing a rank purple coat which hurt my eyes. I am glad she has gone for that reason alone.
4: Sugar feeds the candidates to the sharks (literally)WOAH WOAH WOAH (said in a very slow manner). Although the winning team won, we all know this year's candidates are poor. But seriously Lord Sugar? Sending them underwater with sharks for the treat? Now that's just OTT imho.
Four more weeks to go as we painfully watch one-by-one not-quite-as-bad-as-the-other-one firing. Patrick McDowell, David Odihambo and Navdeep Bual.
Despite starting prominently Patrick has faded into the background, David has proved inept week-on-week to do anything except pretend he is Obama and Navdeep, while a nice girl, doesn't have a killer instinct, as Lord Sugar rightly highlighted this week.
I really really want Steven Cole to do well. He is my favourite by a mile, seems like a great lad, but I am a little worried for him as we haven't seen that much of what he can do (yet). I don't think he will win, but am egging him on (ugh, i hate eggs, just sayin).
It's a similar story with Maria Doran, I LOVE her tenacity (and she is quite fit too). But, the edit hasn't shown if there's anything more to her as yet, it was raised in the boardroom she didn't sell very well this week, so she really needs to step it up.
I think Lucy Beauvallet and Ashleigh Porter-Exley are the likely winners. But, I'm not exactly raving about either of them. Lucy did a great job as project manager last week but does she have ideas, can she sell? Likewise with Ashleigh Porter-Exley, good on numbers but what else can she do?
The one candidate I haven't commented on is Andrew Tindall, because I can never remember seeing him in the episode.