X Factor 2013: Ten things that have changed since Sharon Osbourne was last on board

It’s been six years since Sharon Osbourne left X Factor and a lot has happened in the meantime.

A lot has changed since Sharon Osbourne was last part of the X Factor panel...Copyright [AP]Cheryl Cole came and went, Simon Cowell just... went, and Mrs O is going to notice some big differences at X Factor 2013.

Thankfully of course, as would be the case if she came back for X Factor 2034, Louis is still here, and one of Westlife will almost definitely be hanging about at his Judges’ House. But some things haven’t been quite so consistent...

1. The stroppy bloke on the end got younger

Gary Barlow has taken Simon Cowell's place on the X Factor judging panel. Copyright [AP]No no, Simon didn’t have more surgery. That’s a nice man called Gary.

2. You don’t get Christmas number one any more

Yeah, sorry Sharon. Even if one of your acts wins, you won’t get the Christmas number one any more. This isn’t the glory days of Shayne Ward singing about his goal.

3. There is now a thing called Twitter

...which means people will slag you off a lot. In 2007, that probably still happened, but abuse from a sofa in Bolton stayed on a sofa in Bolton. Now it pings direct to your dressing room, and they’re too far away to chuck a glass of water over. We know - bad times.

4. Strictly’s a genuine competitor

Strictly Come Dancing is now genuine competition to the X Factor. Copyright [BBC]You know how Strictly just used to be a kind of fond little pretend rival that no-one watched, except for the odd nan or waltz-enthusiast? Well now other people do. In fact, sometimes people prefer it to X Factor. We know - bad times again.

5. There’s no debate about whether Louis should be there. Louis will always be there

When Sharon left in 2007, Louis had just been ditched for Brian Friedman, before being triumphantly returned to the panel when it was realised that they needed someone to talk round in circles, be borderline offensive and not make any actual points, and Louis was the man for the job. Now though? No-one ever disputes getting rid of Louis any more; the man will be there until the end of time. 

6. That pretty girl presenting X Factor is not Fearne

That’s Caroline Flack, she’s nice and fun, you should hang out.

7. You can’t boss Nicole Scherzinger about, in fact if you did she’d probably get you sacked

Nicole Scherzinger is a force to be reckoned with. Copyright [AP]The last time Shazza was on Team X, Nicole was her Judges Houses’ minion, there to quietly say ‘I liked that one’ before Sharon cackled over her and Nic shrunk back into her chair. Let’s see her try that now. Not a Shermazing idea, Sharon, not a Schermazing idea at all.

8. Sometimes groups are actually good

The X Factor groups are no longer naff! Copyright [AP]Yeah! We know! You’re used to bands like 4Sure and FutureProof, but since you left, the groups category has become distinctly less rubbish. Still try and get the girls or boys if you can though, obviously.

9. The audition shows now average one ad break per performance

Just so you know for snack breaks/ drink top-ups if you’ve got the family round for the audition shows, Shazza.

10. Every week, your outfit will be compared to Nicole’s in great detail

Yes, yes, this does seem ludicrous. And yet it will happen every single week, in every media outlet you are aware of. People will vote on it. And no, funnily enough it does never happen to Louis and Gary.

[Sharon Osbourne reveals her home made present for Simon Cowell's baby]

[Simon Cowell takes girlfriend and mother of his child Lauren Silverman out for dinner, smooch a lot]

Celebrity Twitpics: Miley Cyrus has been at the centre of a lot of attention this week after her controversial performance at the MTV VMAs. And it seems she isn’t really that concerned about all the

... more 

Celebrity Twitpics: Miley Cyrus has been at the centre of a lot of attention this week after her controversial performance at the MTV VMAs. And it seems she isn’t really that concerned about all the comments, posing for this equally as wild Twitpic. Copyright [Twitter]

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Fri, Aug 30, 2013 10:00 BST