Tulisa has opened up about the day her world 'crashed down' around her when her now infamous sex tape was leaked earlier this year.
In another extract published in The Sun from her autobiography 'Honest' Tulisa reveals that she was made aware of the tape before it was released during her first year of judging on The X Factor.
She revealed: "It felt as though there was a massive axe hanging over my head. My job as a judge on The X Factor was to smile and be smart and funny. But underneath it all I was petrified of being made to look like some kind of slapper in front of the nation."
On 17 March this year, Tulisa's fears were confirmed when her PA Gareth revealed to her that the tape was out.
"When Gareth delivered the news I went completely numb and pulled over to the side of the road absolutely breathless."
"The next day it hit me like a train. I could stop crying. It was like my whole world was ending."
As Tulisa's lawyers tried their best to get the video taken off the internet, the singer noticed that their efforts were futile with news of the video spreading like wildfire.
Embarrassed and ashamed, Tulisa took refuge in her flat, shutting herself away from the world.
She confessed: "For the next few days, I wouldn't leave the flat. I spoke to Gareth and my lawyers, no one else. The thought of speaking to my family, my mum and dad filled me with dread. I still haven't done that."
"I retreated to the bathroom to curl up in a ball on the floor. I slept there for days like when I'd been upset when I was a kid. My friends were desperately worried."
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Against her management's wishes, Tulisa then decided to publicly share her side of the story via Youtube.
She said: "Following the clip on Youtube, the tide was turning. People stopped slagging me off or making jokes. I started seeing messages of support."
"Even my management had to agree I'd made the right decision- despite advising me against it. Always trust your gut instincts."
Tulisa's autobiography 'Honest: My Story So Far' is out Thursday.